Quoted From Her Appeal For Help:
During 2006 I was considering pelvic floor surgery for a medical condition. I have chronic bacterial infections, and a rare disease called trimethylaminuria which cause me to have extreme body odor that comes from my genitals. I asked my mom to come to the appointment for emotional support, but she said, "If you get this surgery you won't be a woman anymore." I canceled the appointment and realized that I would never have support from my family unless I had a vagina that God gave me (in their eyes). This is when the break ins started in my home, and I was drugged and raped over and over. I know for a fact that my parents were responsible for the beginning of this sexual abuse. One time after being drugged I didn't wake up for a long time, and my dad was sitting outside my apartment waiting to make sure I let my dog out, and that I was, I guess, "ok," and not dead.
This is when I began considering changing my gender, and for the past two years, my entire wardrobe is male clothing. There is more that contributes to this gender identity conflict, and it can be seen at http://ex-e-butterfly.blogspot.com/ .
Since I openly declared that I was transgender I've had horrible things done to me. I've been serially raped, despite being celibate for eleven years. beaten while unconscious and raped, stabbed with a needle filled with drugs that I was highly allergic to (barely missed my heart and punctured my lung), and my mother has been poisoning my food to "feminize" me. By feminizing drugs I mean antipsychotics that make your lips protrude, and be more demure. Lately the druggings escalate when she has days off from work. I'm allergic to these medications but she continues to drug me without my prior knowledge by putting it in my food. The current drug she's using makes me sleep for 12 hours straight, then I'm suicidal for 24 hours. In the past, she's drugged me with another drug and sprayed lysol in my vagina. I guess that she believes that transgenderism is a mental illness, and must be cured, rather than addressed, and the odor part is just a matter of household cleaning supplies. Cleanliness is Godliness right?
Furthermore the drugs I'm being dosed with by my mother are destroying my facial structure. My eyes swell badly and I'm developing huge and massive bags around my eyes. I've always had a little bulge below my eyes, but since I've been living with my mother I've woken up in aniphylactic shock on multiple occassions & have had to go to the hospital. The hospital always does nothing, and I wake up having soiled myself after passing out at the hospital. The drugs are causing massive swelling above and below the eyes, to the point where I'm getting permanent double bags under my eyes. My facial structure is already compromised, because of an attempted murder that happened during a hazing ritual at a friend's birthday party, when I started having the chronic infections in 1998. The people who were responsible made fun of me for being fat and shamed me from eating food, while overserving me drinks that were too strong. I was refused help by someone who was working the party, and then I collapsed, damaging my jaw. Therefore, I need some minor surgery to fix my face so it's symmetrical again in addition to the transgender surgery. I'll need eye surgery if the druggings continue as well, if I don't want to look like a basset houndfor the rest of my life.
I need money to get out of this situation and to FIX this situation,; it's that simple. My income on SSI is $730 per month and I'm not allowed to save more than 2,000 at a time, even if saving money were possible with that amount and pay bills. I have to liberate myself from the system and do what I can to make it on my own after I get the body I deserve, not this smelling deformed monster I"m being turned into as a result of smelling badly. People like to say I'm crazy, but it's a chicken or egg scenario. Who wouldn't be crazy if you smelled badly and all of your friends tried to kill you at a party roughly twenty years ago.
Being transgender used to be something I rejected, and would never have accepted in another person, merely because I didn't understand it. I"m asking you, as I have done, to understand that medically I can't function and work as a female, therefore this is a medically necessary situation. It's going to be next to impossible to reach my goal without a few extremely kind contributors, because my condition alienates me from the public, and I spend most of my time gaming with people who could care less if I live or die. The commuity is so ill willed that they joke about who will die next and tell people to kill themselves daily. I'm giving up if I don't reach my goal in six months. I'm going to donate my dog which I got for companionship to a person who needs a medically necessary companion animal, and walk away from this abusive situation I'm in. My parents won't give me the title to my car, the only thing I ever asked of them sinc e I've been on SSI, and just live off of the land in the woods. There's no point to be around people anymore if I can't even eat in a restaurant without having my food served raw or other disgusting and illegal things that have been done to my food. You have no idea how much discrimination I've been put through.
I'm trying to raise $89,000 to go towards relocating and funding my surgery. I plan to go back to school after my transition, and become a working, functioning person in society. I have not been able to work for 16 years because of my medical condition, as it is not socially acceptable and caused me to lose my last job in 2001, Furthermore, since I went on medicaid, after the first three years they won't even cover maintenance medications to alleviate symptoms, and my current state is not liberal enough to even address my problem as a FEMALE much less if I am transgender. It's been postulated that I have a fistula that happened during a date rape in 1996 and that's causing all of the problems, but medicaid won't cover any testing to eliminate that as a posssiblity as well.
The only way that I can make this a cross gender issue is relating my condition to having bowel cancer and the problems it causes to with your quality of life. Sadly, my condition has a sexual connatation which makes it even worse than having bowel cancer, so still, bowel cancer still falls short. Sometimes I wish I did have bowel cancer so this suffering would be over soon. Twenty-One years living with this chronic infection and being diagnosed with diagnosed trimenthylaminuria for sixteen is too long to live with this foul stench. No one should have to live like this. Please help, and donate.
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