Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Troll Pet

From their behavior, many people might get the idea that trolls are devoid of human emotion, that's simply not true.

The trolls of Violet, for instance, have so much love in them they've gone out and gotten pets for themselves.

Now, troll pets aren't the cats and dogs most of us enjoy.  The trolls of Violet have a pet alcoholic.

Xanna is her name, and she's nearly the perfect troll pet.

Like a dog, Xanna is trained to speak when offered treats.  The treats, in this case, come in the form of attention scraps, which Xanna so dearly loves she'll do nearly anything to have them.

You can't call her vocalizations actual human speech though.  They're more like growls and burps and bits of bible verses.

A favorite stupid pet trick for the Violet trolls is to get Xanna on tinychat where she will pull up her shirt to expose her long flaccid breasts or fall asleep on camera.

Troll pets don't seem to live very long though.  Their last pet, named "ratcloner" was trained to insert vegetables in his rectum, which he then ate with glee. 

I'm not sure what happened to Ratcloner.  I heard the Humane Society rescued him and he's now living in a laboratory where they test chemicals for the cosmetics industry.  That may sound like a tough gig but it beats having your "friends" talk you into eating butt carrots.

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