Tuesday, October 19, 2010

March of the Trolls

So there's a guy at Moose.  Let's say his name is Johnny. 

Johnny isn't malicious, he's just annoying.  Like a lot of annoying people, Johnny is vaguely aware of how annoying he is, but he's also fairly powerless to do anything about it.  He tries to be cool, but trying to be cool just makes it worse.

Enter the trolls to save the day.  From far off Waterhead and Ahern they come.  Dragging their troll clubs behind, marching to Moose Beach, because there, it's said, is a lol cow, and trolls must drink the blood of lol cows to live.

The regulars at Moose Beach are fairly used to saying "shut up Johnny" or just muting him, but suddenly their population triples.  There are so many trolls at Moose Beach, nobody else can enter.

These aren't regular trolls.  They're the "A" team, and they have (they think) Johnny's real life phone number, and they're going to gather at Moose Beach and wait for him to come on so they can call him and tell him, on the phone, just how annoying he is.  Redundant much?

One of the trolls figures it's fine to pass out  Johnny's phone number, but if somebody posts her real life picture (fully clothed) juxtaposed with a picture of gollum, that's disclosure and she's going to report him and get him baaaaaaaaned!

At this point I call bullshit.  They don't really need lol cow blood to survive and if it's ok for her to hand out one person's real life data, certainly it's ok for somebody else to pass around hers.

This game of looking for people to troll is getting pretty damn boring.  Johnny might be annoying, but he's not half as annoying as this bullshit.


  1. I dunno who you are. But you're awesome. Having said that, how about a mention of the trolls you speak of: Specifically:
    and everyone at the Trollmanual.com

    You've got our support. Get in touch.

  2. None of them were being a whiney bitch about somebody showing their picture though.


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