Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Goin' To The Mall

When Phillip created SecondLife he thought it'd be something really science fiction cool or some kind of art colony.

While there's some of that, mostly what he got was a mall.  To give credit where it's due, it's a big mall, one of the largest malls in the world, but a mall none-the-less.

For the most part, the Linden's job is pretty quiet.  They maintain the infrastructure for the tenants and occasionally put on mall-wide sales or photo sessions with Santa.

Mall developers never take into account the bored adolescents that accumulate in the mall courts being a pain in the ass.  The Lindens didn't either at first, but just like real mall developers, they soon had to employ a staff of mall cops to chase the kids around when one of them tips over the Orange Julius machine just to watch it splash.

Just like mall cops, the Lindens occasionally "ban" particularly irritating kids from ever entering the mall agian, and of course they return within 30 minutes with a new sweater.  The real cops aren't much help.  They're dealing with murderers and crack dealers and really have no time or interest in jolly pranksters being a pain in the ass.

New kids are told "don't go to the South Court, that's where mean Sally hangs out.  Mean Sally has been a sophamore since 1987 when she's not in reform school, and you don't want to mess with her."

The mall cops never catch Mean Sally at anything so they tip their cap to her when they go by and she gives them an Eddy Haskell greeting "Afternoon officer!"

Sally's ally is Tim the Nihilist.  Tim's from the wrong side of town and smokes lucky strikes and wears sunglasses inside.  He quit school in 1987 and his parents have no idea where he is most of the time, since his room in the basement has it's own exit door.

Tim lives to attack everyone's life style and make the pretty girls cry for spending money on their hair or buying sweaters from the gap.

Most of the people who come to the mall are unaware of these daily dramas except in passing, and they pass on to the store of their choice pretty quickly.

Second Life could be a science fiction art colony like the original vision, the Lindens are certainly capable of hosting it, but the people who come through the door, they want a mall, so a mall they get.  Just don't mess around with Mean Sally.

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